Love Invisibility: May 2009

Help! Help! anyone there please Help me i am drowning....PLEASE!!
Alicia! Alicia! is that you.... quick give me your hand!
Someone's here for me, someone heard my cry, someone's here to save me from death. With the last hope in me, I gather all of my strength, force my weight against the gravity and struggle my way up to the surface.
There! I reached out my hand towards the trail of voice........ but no ones there.
I thought i heard a voice, i thought i am going to survive, i thought....... its all my own imagination.
Slowly without further struggle, i let go...let go of all the hope and will...allowing the ocean to take me in as part of them.

I came from a humble family, with 2 old folks working day through day and night trying to make ends meet. I work my life through the same way, no celebration of christmas eve, no time for hugging during mother's day, no time for moon viewing during mid autumn festival...
During my schooling days, i wake up at 5 to get myself ready to go to school and when i reached home others might have taken their shower or dinner. When i started working, my life was not that easy, i had to go through the rush hour at the custom in the morning to get to work and rush my way back after a hectic day at work. I slept rarely more than 6 hrs each day. I still remember there were many times where i walk my way from Kranji to Malaysia custom with tears flowing down from the corner of my eye. Thinking where do i have to go through this shitty life. Yes, with all these at that point of time, i wonder why can't i be abit more fortunate , why can't i have a more smooth sailing life. Finally, my luck came i was given a chance to go oversea to study. Those days were the best, despite my expenses were tigher than some others but i thought that those were the best days of my life. When you thought that the worst is over......your wrong!
My sail was the roughest since i am back from NZ........ from the worst break up, worst job, worst economic crisis, worst job hunting period, worst temp job and the worst family disappointment. This time i have finally reached the bottom of the pool.... waiting for time to consume me completely.